SLAMMIVERSARY XVI

July 22, 2018

Tommy Dreamer . . . thinks that it’s still 1997 and that he can still innovate violence on a nightly basis.

Pentagon Jr. . . . shows cero miedo as he attempts to keep his mask and shave Sami Callihan’s head.

Austin Aries . . . does a respectable job of showing why he’s a World Champion, both in how he carries himself and carries an inferior opponent.

JOHNNY IMPACT vs. PETEY WILLIAMS vs. FENIX vs. TAIJI ISHIMORI

Ironically, the live crowd summed this up perfectly when they chanted ‘This is Impact!’ - because this sure as hell wasn’t wrestling. This is just a total spotfest from the moment the bell rings, with zero sense of any story or theme. Everyone gets hit with something and then disappears from the match for a while, until they need to break up a pin. Yes, Fenix has a ton of spring in his step, but, that doesn’t do anything to make this feel engaging. The one nice touch they had was the idea of Petey going for the kill with the Destroyer too early. But he finally hits it during the prerequisite sequence where everyone hits their finisher, rather than having it mean something. Johnny getting the win is fine, he’s probably the most well known of the four of them, but, it’s a shame that this many experienced workers couldn’t churn out something better.

TESSA BLANCHARD vs. ALLIE

There are a few times that Tessa shows that she’s her father’s daughter, the way she sells after Allie hit her with the forearm shot seemed reminiscent of Tully. But, the work itself was clunky and disjointed more often than not. It also didn’t help that spots that should have been a big deal, like Allie’s superkick, weren’t treated as such. Tessa rolls to the floor to avoid the pin, and after Allie rolls her back in, Tessa is completely refreshed. Allie’s bad landing on the rana probably wasn’t the intended outcome of that spot, but they could have made it seem important. Their intensity was certainly believable. When you watch this, you really get the feeling that Allie wants to rip Tessa’s head off, but that only gets them so far. Tessa countering the DVD into her DDT makes for a decent finish, although countering with a cradle and using the ropes or grabbing Allie’s tights might have been more appropriate.

EDDIE EDWARDS vs. TOMMY DREAMER

On the surface this looks like just another prop-laden brawl. But, what makes it work is that Eddie does everything possible to make it seem like it’s still 1997 and that Dreamer is capable of kicking his ass on a nightly basis. Yes, Eddie wins in the end (as he should have), and the fans aren’t happy with getting denied the flaming table. But, between the staple gun and the Madonna’s Boyfriend Driver on the chairs, Tommy had more than made his point. In his nearly nine years with the WWE, and his occasional comebacks, I don’t think Dreamer ever looked as good, or credible, as he did tonight. The symbolic passing of the torch afterwards is another nice moment, although I don’t especially want to see Eddie go down that path permanently.

MATT SYDAL © vs. BRIAN CAGE (X-Division Title)

This was fun until Cage decided to stop playing along. With such a size disparity, going after the big man’s leg is obvious. Sydal adds to that with some smart ideas, like the meteora off the apron, and crawling under the ring to catch Cage from behind. There’s another smart touch when Cage throws Sydal to stop the DDT, and winds up throwing him back into the ring. But, once Sydal hits the standing moonsault, Cage just pops to his feet, and, any selling, or pretense that anything before even happened is out the window. There’s a cute role reversal spot, when Cage tries a rana and Sydal powerbombs him, but, it’s pretty much Cage bumping him around. The cradle counter to the Drill Claw was a nice spot, although a surprise cradle isn’t the ideal set up for the SSP. Sydal’s botches the SSP and they go right to the finish afterwards. This was actually shaping up to be a fun little match before Cage decided to forgo the selling and story.

SU YUNG © vs. MADISON RAYNE (Impact Knockouts Title)

The wrestling here is more smooth than the previous knockout’s match, but, this is a lot less of a back and fourth match. Madison’s strikes look rather pedestrian, the intensity isn’t even close to Tessa/Allie, and there’s nothing to suggest that either of them has any sort of strategy to win, or that they’re doing anything to tell a story. Su using an inverted mandible claw to counter the Dragon sleeper is a unique finish. But, Madison’s cartoony selling makes it impossible to take seriously. Overall, between the short length, interference from Su’s seconds, and the aftermath with the coffin, this looks like something that belongs on TV.

ORTIZ/SANTANA © vs. HERNANDEZ/HOMICIDE (Impact World Tag Team Titles - Street Fight)

This definitely rates as one of the more lackluster street fights that I’ve seen. It comes off like two teams just doing spots, with pedestrian brawling and prop shots in between them. The fact that they make things obvious by maneuvering themselves into the correct positions doesn’t help matters, such as Hernandez casually walking to the ropes, so that Santana can charge him on the ramp and get back body dropped into the ring. It gets even worse later on, when Ortiz holds Homicide in place for Santana to spring off his back for some extra height, and make Hernandez look that much more impressive for being able to catch him. But, what stands out is what the match doesn’t have. Namely, a believable intensity. Watching this doesn’t make me believe that these two teams want to beat the tar out of each other. And, it’s capped off by the most creative of finishes, with Konnan distracting Homicide and giving Santana thumbtacks to use. Respect to Homicide and Santana for the tacks bumps, but they were a wasted effort in a match like this.

PENTAGON Jr. vs. SAMI CALLIHAN (Mask vs. Hair)

If you enjoy the spectacle and pageantry of wrestling, then this is something you’ll enjoy. Both men bleed buckets, chairs and spikes get involved, a blinded Pentagon breaks the ref’s arm by mistake, and when the predictable run-in happens from the Christ brothers, they’re swiftly dispatched. This also has the believable hate that was so noticeably lack in the tag titles match.

But, despite some nice moments, this is no way a good wrestling match. Sami sells a single chop from Pentagon better than either of them sells anything, but then they just trade off chops without thinking twice. There’s the predictable spot when Sami misses and chops the post, and then Pentagon does it a second later, but neither of those missed chops has any meaning beyond that. One of their nicer spots was Pentagon doing the hop off spot when Sami charged him in the corner, but, instead of just landing on his feet behind Sami, Pentagon smoothly comes down with a back cracker. But those sorts of things aren’t the rule, they’re the exception. It’s more common to see them doing things like sitting down and trading slaps and chops or taking the Cole/O’Reilly sequence of grabbing each other’s hair and punching, and upping the ante by adding spikes.

Of course, this isn’t exactly the sort of setting that one should probably look to in order to see logical wrestling. But, while it’s lacking in the wrestling department, there are lots of cool moments from both of them. Sami brings in the spikes and ties up Pentagon in the ropes, Pentagon knows it’s coming, but instead of cowering, or doing something to escape, he defiantly yells “cero miedo” at Sami, before taking the punishment like a man. And then when Pentagon frees himself, he gets some revenge by spiking Sami. It also says a lot about Sami that the crowd reacts the way that it does when Pentagon gets him into position for the arm breaker. Sami kicking out of the Fear Factor on the chairs doesn’t exactly speak well of the move, but, it works in the vein of Sami being so determined to keep his hair. Sami tells Pentagon that he’ll have to kill him, and Pentagon obliges with an arm breaker and another Fear Factor. Overall, while this may not be much of an actual wrestling match, it’s certainly a breath of fresh air, after the two prior matches, and, if nothing else, it certainly made this card memorable.

AUSTIN ARIES © vs. MOOSE (Impact World Heavyweight Title)

From a work standpoint, this is easily the best match of the night, but, it isn’t much more than just good. The main issue here is that neither Aries nor Moose sees fit to sell anything for very long, so, spots that should be a big deal aren’t treated as such. Moose’s headbutt to the jaw during their apron strike exchange is a good example, it’s much nastier looking than the chops and forearm shots they were throwing, but Aries just sucks it up and comes right back with a DVD on the apron. One of Moose’s first big shots was the running dropkick in the corner, Aries does a similar spot but, Moose’s size obviously makes it more dangerous. But, Aries eats the spot, gets whipped to the opposite corner and gets his foot up when Moose charges to take control. Hell, even the foul that Aries gives Moose, which would have perfectly set up the brainbuster, is just ignored so that Moose can reverse it. Aries didn’t even have to hit the brainbuster. Moose could have dead weighted him under the pretense of selling the foul.

The other thing that drags this down is extraneous bullshit that doesn’t have any purpose. The main offender is Aries bringing in the belt and having it taken away. He’d just hit the brainbuster on the floor and Moose barely beat the count. So, it wasn’t like Aries was trying to steal the win. And, all the distraction led to was Moose trying to win with a roll up, which Aries easily escaped and then followed up with the head kick and brainbuster for the win. Moose’s near fall from his spear was also rendered as throwaway, even with Aries getting the rope break. They’d taken the time to build up to it, with Aries getting a great counter into the Last Chancery, and then later pulling the ref in front of him, which led to the foul. But, when Moose finally hits it and gets the near fall, they just move on and go to the floor for their next sequence, rather than it having any long lasting consequences.

But, even with their issues, this is still a good wrestling match. They’re the only ones that even attempted to tell a story, with their ability to counter and outsmart one another. As frustrating as the lack of selling is, from the point when Moose wipes out on the ramp, until the finish, it’s pretty much spot on. Moose misses the dive, and Aries takes advantage by going to the neck, and it pays off when the brainbuster keeps Moose down. Aries has always carried himself well as a champion, and this is no exception. Moose stumbles a few times, like when he doesn’t go along with the crucifix bomb right away, but, he mostly makes a good foil for Aries. ***

Conclusion: Overall, I’d say this a solid to average show. Only the Knockouts and Tag Titles matches are what I would call ‘bad.’ It may be an improvement over the worst days of TNA, but, it’s nowhere near the quality of the best efforts from WWE, NXT, or New Japan.